The Ashiest Room in DC

With nary a proper fade, sharp line, or lick of common sense amongst them, a group of coontastic GOP acolytes, unfortunately possessing the magic of Mother Nature’s melanin in their skin, assembled on Friday to pay their fealty toward habanero Hitler. This gathering, coined the “Young Black Leadership Summit,” was a collection of lost souls who actually feel being a Black conservative in America, circa 2018, is something to be publicly proud of. Promoted by twitter personality and flip-flop charlatan Candace Owens, who seems to run from hairdressers and the truth at equal pace, this summit was supposed to be where young Black conservatives would “hear from some of the nation’s most well-known conservative leaders and activists, receive first-class professional development and leadership training, and network with other attendees and organizations from all across the country.” All of which sounds like cover for a bullshit assembly designed to be a photo op for Trump with Black people right before midterms.

Rumors circulated early on that the people in the audience were hired actors being compensated by Republican special interest groups. Upon further investigation, it was discovered that they weren’t paid to act; They were just paid to be the boot-licking idiots they are. On the Turning Point USA website under “Participant Costs,” it reads: “Admission to this event will be free to all attendees. TPUSA will also be covering lodging at no cost to the attendee for the nights of October 25th-October 27th (checking out the 28th). Lunch will be provided on Saturday, October 27th and brunch on Sunday, October 28th.” Turning Point also provided a form to fill out if a “Travel Stipend” was needed to get to DC. So, the only way they successfully gathered approximately 200 (not the 400 they lied about) Black people willing to be public embarrassments to themselves, their parents, their race, and their assumed intelligence, was to bribe them with free food, free lodging, and free or prorated travel. Sounds like a handout for just showing up, AMIRITE? I thought Black conservatives were supposed to be against that kinda thing?!? Hell, most Black people don’t even show up for free food at parties unless they get an acceptable answer to the time honored question: “who all over there?”
 
Speaking of which, the list of presenters was a laughable cornucopia of people who aren’t even claimed by a majority of the Black American community. It included the usual token folks that GOPers trot out to prove they actually know at least one Black person (Ben Carson, Kay C. James), failed Black “celebrities” (Stacey Dash, Larry Elder), some people looking for youtube fame (David Harris, Jr., Brandon Tatum, Maj Toure and Clay Dub), and a dude who has probably written one of those “A Nigerian Prince Has Left You Money” email scams a time or two (Colion Noir, real name Collins Iyare Idehen, Jr.). Who would rate the “professional development and leadership training” these people offered “first class”….Spirit Airlines? The only profession any of these folks seem to be successful at is tap dancing for white folks and kissing the GOP’s ass. They really needed to hold a four day summit for that?

Back to the main event. Instead of being a world leader and addressing the details surrounding the apprehension of #MAGABomber Cesar Sayoc, Trump decided to hold a pep rally in the East Room of the White House. He spent around 45 minutes lecturing the group of red hatted sycophants with his routine of exaggerated lies, peppered with non sequiturs, and they lapped it up like the trained house pets they were. In between their shouts of “USA! USA!” Trump ran through his usual talking points: making up things he’s done (gained more favor with African American voters) and taking credit for things he didn’t do (the Unemployment rate). He also made sure to mention Kanye West: “For example, we are grateful to Kanye West, how about Kanye? How about Kanye? I don't know. …And -- and one of the polls just comes, Kanye leaves -- and Kanye's really a great guy, he's a little different, do we say? He's a little different. But he has -- he's a smart guy and a good guy. …he's really something very, very special and interesting and I see why people like him. …So -- so I think Kanye -- he may be the most powerful man in all of politics, right?” This backhanded compliment all but confirms that although he’s grateful for the support he, too, thinks Kanye is koo-koo. It has also been said that West is the designer behind the “Blexit” shirts handed out on Saturday at the summit. Koo-koo birds of a feather flocking together AND wearing matching merch? That doesn’t sound like indoctrination AT ALL {/sarcasm font}.

One of the more disheartening things about the summit was the commentary shared from attendees who bought into Trump’s completely unsubstantiated rants about immigrants “taking jobs from the Black community” hook, line and sinker. Two of them even tried to argue with journalist Roland Martin about it, one shouting about taco stands taking over, and the other yelling out nonsensical stats like he had Tourette’s. (WHO is mad about taco stands tho? EVERYONE LOVES TACOS. Maybe you need to invest in taco stands instead of whatever crappy product you’re peddling, my guy. Just saying.) This messaging is completely on brand for the summit, which was supported and funded by groups like the Leadership Institute, The Heritage Foundation, and Campus Reform. These groups fuel conservative ideals against immigration (of brown people), working tirelessly to preserve white supremacy…and what better way to preserve white supremacy than to pit those being oppressed against each other? The divide and conquer tactic of minorities (and poor people) isn’t new; it is a tale as old as time, from slavery overseers to the Southern Strategy to the defeat of the Black Panther Party by the US Government. It looks as though the Trump Administration and the GOP have found a prized pretty pony in Candace Owens and the multitude of Stephens who showed up for this “summit.” Once again, rich white men in America are looking to Black people to do some heavy lifting in safeguarding their positions of power. Unfortunately, there are young Black people who are willing to throw the shackles around their own necks for the price of a cheap weekend in Washington, DC, and a free t-shirt with a crappy design. What a time to be alive.